Currently Listening Saosin By Saosin BURY YOUR HEAD see related

[me]

i'm getting a new journal

when i do

i'll find you girls

PROMISE.

<3me

Currently Listening Autobiography By Ashlee Simpson LOVE FOR ME see related

[me]

i give up

i'm going to try to eat like a normal person

and just try to excersise more.

i'm done with ana.

hopefully others can see that theyre wrecking their lives and that they're worth more than they think they do.

i'm not here to impress anybody.

she says i'm perfect.

i dont believe her, but shes all that matters to me now.

EDIT:

today i was feeling really upset about this.  like, i just want to be able to enjoy food normally again. this always happens, and when i do make myself eat normally i just feel like shit cause i get fat again.

and it makes me happy when my clothes get loose on me
and when i see numbers go down on the scale
and when i don't need to stuff myself like most of the people at my lunch table.
and how it comforts me.

i feel like i'm falling back into somthing else..

no, not my ed, but somthing that i really REALLY dont want to come back.

Currently Listening Until There's Nothing Left of Us By Kill Hannah LIPS LIKE MORPHINE see related

i'm not going to even post my weight cuz i dont want to know mmkay?

FUCK. so i got stoned and i binged ahahahahaha STUPID ME.

like, are you serious?! why did i do that. i love getting stoned but there are reprocussions. grrr ok.

i dont see why ppl think fasting is so dangerous. i mean it is, but people do it all the time. people in certain religions do it for large amounts of time, not even for weight loss ya know?

i'm not going to say my plan just know that i plan on drinking alot of water. (because somebody likes to read my xanga when after they said that theyre not gonna read it anymore because they dont feel like worrying anymore or somthings along those lines...)

LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER

STAY STRONG!!

<3me

p.s- i would like a transformation like that thanks.

Currently Listening Redeemer By Norma Jean see related

130.5

okay so i gained half a lb. NOT BAD! considering that i binged after i was doing so well

INTAKE:::

b-none

snack-bottle of water

l-bottle of water

snack- half a bottle of water

okay so before i get to dinner and all that crap..

when my mom and dad picked me up from school today they baught like a whole bunch of shit, i'm talking junk food cuz they were stoned and my dad thought it would be nice if he gave me some chocolate and cotton candy. nice thought but i deff didnt want it. so then my parents decided they wanted to go to this bakery. ahahahahahaha they told me i needed to get somthing, and i didnt resist cuz that would have been too suspicious. poop. i didnt want to break this fantastic fast of mine but if my parents ever saw me refuse a cupcake, then they DEFF would htink somthing was up.

okay so thats what i had for an after school snack. and for

d-1 slice of cheese pizza

not toooo bad of a binge and i didnt really gain alot. and half a pound! YES!

tomorrow i deff going to be serious, as somone who commented my last entry said, "it takes one good day to get on track." and you know, thats VERY true

i hope you all are doing good, oh and tomorrow i'm going to try to drink at least 5 bottles of water. sound good?

STAY STRONG LADIES<3

<3me

Currently Listening Redeemer By Norma Jean MEMPHIS WILL BE LAID TO WASTE see related

i'm giving myself 2 weeks to shape up.

just before halloween; i need to look good for my costume

who says i shouldnt at least weigh 5 lbs less.

please

just 5 lbs is all i ask!!!

can you girls please give me some encouragement

or just yell at me and tell me that i'm fxcking obese and NEED to loose this weight

[i know i do but somtimes when i'm doing really good i think to myself that  "oh i'm fine i dont need to be loosing this" and then afterward when i eat i feel so guilty]

i dont really have anybody to yell at me when i do bad and i need to learn dicapline [i suck at spelling]

<3me

EDIT:

bold each one that applies.